days gone bye. icu.

The sheer fact that my keys are typing a final reflection is perhaps one of the most surreal concepts i've been faced with. That i'm sure I will not fully swallow until my body and worldly possessions are leaving this place in less than a month. In one of my first posts only 4 months ago I noted that time passes here in an altogether different frequency , one I couldn't quite figure out, strangely now it's the only one I know and it's ending. Landing on this side of the world still at days feels mere minutes ago but in reality has run its course. Upon entering this world my preconceptions were faced with an existence I could have never imagined. My initial goals and ideas for prospective achievement detailed a relative fluency in the Thai language, adaption and the ability to assimilate myself into many of the unique facets of Thai society, and lastly to find myself and harness the capacity to view life through the lens of a world I didn't yet know. From where I stand at this point the first two came somewhat easily, the simple results of 4 months living, teaching, and confronting every corner of life here with eyes wide. The last however is an altogether different story, one that encompasses what I can attest is the greatest of my personal successes. Leaving behind the world that defines my life living in boston, I was entirely unaware of how much of myself was slipping away with each day existing in constant motion, an unwavering state of flux. To detail the events and circumstances that have brought about significant change in my being is at this point almost impossible as the reality is markedly different but the path is still unclear. In total I feel that the goals I outlined for myself proved to be somewhat irrelevant as the semester passed to the rhythm of a life I still can't quite define, and aside from my participation I was merely a pawn in the constant ebb and flow of life in the land of Thai. Invariably I think that the events that have come to define my experience here and ultimately have lead to my greatest realization were as much tokens of fate as they were outcomes of my actions. With this i've learned how to breath again. 
This new found balance that has linked itself to my heart and soul is perhaps one of the most powerful lessons life has given me thus far, something I will forever try to maintain. Primarily, to thank I have my students, whose resilience and good spirits have taught me much more than I can take credit for bestowing onto them in the principles of fluency in this roman alphabet. Subsequently they will also be the hardest part of departing from this side of the world and i've been working to contact NGO's working specifically for causes in Burma as well as refugee issues in Boston. In maintaining a connection to the issues that have become so delicately linked to my revised world view i'm hoping to preserve some of the aspects of life i've learned here. The fact that the conclusion is so rapidly approaching is still evoking a relative feeling of insecurity but the peace of acceptance is seeping in with each day passing. 

No comments:

Post a Comment