ahhhhhhhhh.

deep breaths and even longer sighs. something i've always taken for granted. recently my allergy to thailand, manifested itself once again in the constriction of my airways. i feel this is an exceptionally rude parting gift, but regardless a trip to the hospital yet again.. third times a charm and i'm feeling almost well. 

aside from these small casualties life is swiftly passing along. it's hotter than the too hot bath you barely dare to poke your big toe into and then quickly retract almost forgoing your balance due to the scalding sensation, that is in my best description presently to the overwhelming feeling in the world here. with the searing temperatures though have come the rains, the beautiful heavy pelting rains. that embody everything i love about summer storms but with the uniqueness only afternoons spent staring can attest to. 

as of today i am living the first of my "lasts" as it is officially my last saturday in thailand. so far i've taken about 18 and 1/4 steps but am hoping to make significant moves later on. the past week has brought the completion of 3 classes, with only 2 more and then nepal. mmmmnepal. all the excitement my body has been harboring for adventures and excursions has been fit into this small world and i can hardly wait. this excitement however is the ever present reminder that i will not be returning to my existence in the outer periphery of chiang mai, but to the small area of land on the atlantic that only visits in my dreams occasionally. 

yet at this moment i can't dwell too much on these things as i never have been good at goodbyes.

so back to dreams, i've been having more of them than i know what to do with and wake up with a transcendental feeling of happiness or a similar one of panic, tooth dreams, killing me. now i would not characterize myself as unhappy typically but this is a whole new thing. making peace with the world i suppose. i've also been doing quite a bit of meditating in the hiding places i've deemed as my own for the time being. i love the uncanny ability to find these little nooks of solace and the experiences they provide around the world. lately, these meditations have not led to a clarity of mind, in time i assume, but to that of my body. whenever i sit purposefully to claim my thoughts it is in fact my body that asserts its power and i am overcome with a humming feeling that spreads itself as if flowing congruently with my heartbeats pumping in my veins. sometimes dull and sometimes strong enough to catch my breath. i'm becoming quite fond of it. 

but for now lunchtime draws near and playdates are in need of planning..